The Shadow Doctors

Dr. Cranky must deal with an interesting medley of personalities as he carries out his daily duties, and one of the most interesting of these involves the shadow doctors. A shadow doctor, in the medical lexicon, is also known as a Radiologist. These men and women live in dark cubbyholes deep within the bowels of every hospital across America and practice a strange, occult combination of clinical medicine and physical science.

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Medical Television Shows

As he has mentioned in a previous post, Dr. Cranky has a deep aversion to medical TV shows.  There was a time in his life when he tried to watch such drivel but would inevitably end up laughing uncontrollably, shaking his head in disgust, or would start arguing with the television set (which Mrs. Cranky, who is not at all cranky herself, would find most disconcerting).  After discharging far too many neurons thinking about it, Dr. Cranky has decided to try and exorcise these personal demons by detailing his aversion for your personal edification.  Buckle your seatbelt, dear reader, for you are about to find out in no uncertain terms why your faithful correspondent is known as Dr. Cranky.

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Dr. Cranky’s Profile Picture

Dr. Cranky dislikes medical television shows and always has. Even as a strapping young Cranky lad he thought them to be laughable and puerile. In fact, Mrs. Cranky (who is not at all cranky herself) forbids your humble servant from watching such programs because of his irritating tendency to argue with the television set.  Well then, you might ask, if this is the case then why does the good Dr. House stand in as his profile picture?

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Disappointment for Readers of Dr. Cranky

This morning Dr. Cranky was putting together the latest installment of his thrilling adventures when the Cranky Daughter (who, like Mrs. Cranky, is not at all cranky herself) awoke and came downstairs for some father-daughter bonding time.

You see, the Cranky Daughter is home from college for the weekend and Dr. Cranky doesn’t get such opportunities as often as he would like. Thus, dear reader, I’m afraid I have to declare this a blog-free day and you will have to wait a little longer for your earnest host’s next missive.

Stay tuned . . .

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Aortic Dissection

Every now and then Dr. Cranky picks up a chart from the rack and, even before he walks into a patient’s room, his spidey-sense starts to tingle. This is almost always a bad sign and such was the case last night with a patient we shall refer to as Mr. A.

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Opening Remarks

This blog, like many a teenage pregnancy, was completely unanticipated and unplanned. For reasons which elude me I have logged onto this web host and, after following a few simple steps, have given birth to this site which I call “Cranky Doctor.”

This is a complete departure from the way I normally do things. As my residency program director, The Big C, was fond of saying, “a good emergency physician thinks several steps ahead and anticipates problems before they have a chance to arise. He should not only have Plan A in mind, he should also have a Plan B and C ready as back-ups.”  Thus I have been specifically trained to think ahead and act on a plan instead of reacting to events as they unfold. And as Mrs. Cranky (who is not at all cranky herself) likes to point out, I’m the kind of person who will not so much as wipe his nose without having first thought the matter through.

As a result of this departure from my usual modus operandi, I would like to beg your forgiveness in advance; I really don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to this whole blog thing. If I should violate any of the sacred tenants of blog etiquette as I put my thoughts to keyboard I would appreciate a nice, civil e-mail notifying me of my transgression. I can be reached at Nothing snotty please, and expletives are definitely frowned upon.  I hear enough of those from my work environment. I’ll figure it all out eventually, I promise.

And with these opening remarks out of the way, let the adventure begin . . .

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